Sanjana Sukumar's APLit blog

Scoobie I watch as he does something quite silly. Old yet filled with contagious energy. Oh how does he make it seem so easy? Running around until we feel dizzy. The sound of his bark in my memory. I watch as he does something quite silly. You allot time for me, never busy. Performing your tricks very cleverly. Oh how does he make it seem so easy? You hair gets caught in the wind, so frizzy. Chasing after the bird so steadily. I watch as he does something quite silly. Winds travelled as it became breezy. As you gaze at the world, how heavenly. Oh how does he make it seem so easy? And when the day becomes extra chilly, My gratitude for you strikes merrily. I watch as he does something quite silly. Oh how does he make it seem so easy?

The phone call ended after a quick “Hi. How are you?” At age five, these brief conversations with my grandparents began to feel like a chore. This scarcity of conversation is the product of a language barrier. I felt disconnected from my grandparents due to my broken Tamil, my mother tongue, and the physical distance between us. While struggling to hold a conversation, insecurity settled in as it furthered the gap between my grandparents and I. During my adolescence, I felt out of touch with my Indian identity. When my family and I visited India during the summers, I tried to make the best out of the trip but always longed to come back home. At the time, I didn't think there was much to unpack with this yearning for home but that soon changed when my family and I moved to India. As we upended our lives, my five year old self accepted this change gladly and marked it as a new beginning.  My heightened self-awareness led to my understanding that the move to India enabled a conn...