Journey with my Culture

The phone call ended after a quick “Hi. How are you?” At age five, these brief conversations with my grandparents began to feel like a chore. This scarcity of conversation is the product of a language barrier. I felt disconnected from my grandparents due to my broken Tamil, my mother tongue, and the physical distance between us. While struggling to hold a conversation, insecurity settled in as it furthered the gap between my grandparents and I.

During my adolescence, I felt out of touch with my Indian identity. When my family and I visited India during the summers, I tried to make the best out of the trip but always longed to come back home. At the time, I didn't think there was much to unpack with this yearning for home but that soon changed when my family and I moved to India. As we upended our lives, my five year old self accepted this change gladly and marked it as a new beginning.

 My heightened self-awareness led to my understanding that the move to India enabled a connection that was absent prior - the very lack of connection that fed my desire to return home. My immersive two year experience in India bridged me to a community that fostered my culture, identity, and my family. Actively putting my ignorance aside and making the effort to learn another language is one of the best things I did growing up. I heard my grandmother's stories as she authentically told them in her preferred language. I sincerely listened to her words to improve my own as they found a place in my heart. Although I felt ashamed for my repeated mistakes, I channeled this emotion as fuel for my growth-mindset. By allowing myself to make mistakes, I strove to relinquish the insecurity I felt because of my broken Tamil. As my understanding of my mother tongue developed, the language barrier between my grandparents and I grew smaller and smaller.

Unexpectedly, my father broke the news: we were moving back to America. Once again, I accepted this change but understood the hardships that would come along. After adjusting to my new life in India, I was faced with another challenge: reintegrating into American culture and its society that was once familiar. My experience in India made the move back to America easier. I had already gone through a series of changes hence felt comfortable when more came my way. Living in India changed my way of thinking; I became more open minded and understood the importance of cultural identity. I was more willing to hear others opinions and learn from different cultures in order to broaden my thinking. In the face of adversity, I have consistently taken the initiative to learn and grow from my challenges. By doing so, I remain open to the value in these difficulties and allow them to positively shape my mindset. I have a deepened appreciation for my parents and other immigrants who had to go through a similar transition.

 Now that I am comfortable in my own self-identity, I feel that it has strengthened my collaboration with others. Connecting with my peers is a skill that I have mastered through the various experiences that I have encountered from India to America. Tamil has helped me understand as well as connect my family members and I on a deeper level. Today, I speak Tamil fluently and embrace my bicultural background. Now, the phone begins with “Hi. How are you?” and doesn’t end for hours.